Fear and Pain Your Days are Numbered

 

I found out yesterday that I my spine is totally screwed up. I’m not surprised because it’s been causing me problems for over 10 years off and on. Nevertheless, that news hit me hard. It was a slap in the face. The good kind. I was offended a little bit by my own conscience. I have known that something was wrong with my back that whole time and I knew that losing weight and getting fit would help, but in my state of depression and exhaustion and brokenness I was simply unable to muster the necessary motivation. NO MORE! I am sick and tired of being helpless and hopeless. Screw that! I am sincerely pissed off that so much of my life has been wasted wallowing in pain and suffering. I AM DONE! I commit today, right now, to do whatever it takes to reclaim my health and happiness. Mental illness be damned! You poked the wrong frickin bear. Now prepare to die.

 

I’m going to take this one step at a time, but I will start NOW. I will wake up every day with single-minded purpose. I will not fail. I am not a victim. I am the hero of this story. I have battled for ten years with disappointment, sadness, exhaustion, pain, anxiety, confusion, despair, hopelessness, self-loathing, anger, bitterness, rage, etc., etc., etc. But these adversaries and many more have not been able to keep me down. I have learned the required lessons from each and I have come out stronger. I AM UNSTOPPABLE. I will not live another day without purpose. I will never again allow fear and pain to turn me back in my course. To my fear and pain I say, “You have created a monster and now it is coming for you.”