Recovery Plan

I am going to try and outline a personal recovery plan for climbing out of the pit of depression that I’ve been in for roughly eight years. I also will be striving to improve my overall health and wellbeing. Now, I don’t know how complicated and difficult that may sound to those who are inexperienced and unfamiliar in the world of abnormal psychology and mental health/illness, but believe me, it’s no easy task. This must be about the thousandth time that I have tried to undertake this endeavor. And although I have thought, and fought, long and hard over it, I remain stumped by this problem.

I have learned many, many things through my research and experience that are shown to help a significant percentage of people to overcome depression and return to good mental health. These treatments and therapeutic lifestyle changes include everything from medication, talk therapy, exercise, nutrition and supplementation, sleep habits, exposure to UV light, and electro-convulsive therapy, yoga, acupuncture, meaningful social connection, engaging activities, flow states, mindfulness meditation, journaling, spiritual practice, and many, many more. I could probably name 50 things that are supposed to help with depression off the top of my head, and yet I have not managed to arrange those treatments and behaviors into a realistic plan that I am able to execute successfully and consistently over a long period of time.

I believe this is a problem that is shared by literally millions of people in the United States and possibly hundreds of millions of people across the globe. I know from experience and from talking to friends of mine who also struggle with chronic mental illness, that most of these people would tell you they basically know what they are supposed to do in order to get better, but for many compounding reasons, they cannot follow through on the knowledge they possess and plans that they make. This kind of extreme cognitive dissonance is one of the most frustrating aspects of mental health recovery. We know what we should do for the most part, but simply do not feel well enough to expend the energy necessary to perform the healing practices that we intend to implement.

Consider a therapist, doctor, or family member who says to a suffering individual: “If you could just consistently do a handful of healthy behaviors, you would get better.” To that suffering individual, this is like saying to a paralyzed person, or someone with a broken leg: “If you could just climb Mount Everest, you would be healed.” In both cases, their current miserable, debilitating, and exhausting condition renders the necessary tasks practically impossible.

I’ve concluded that something requiring minimal effort must take place in the life of the suffering individual that will first improve their mental state and alleviate their pain just enough to make taking the first baby step towards recovery realistically achievable. It could be a medication or supplement that works for you, an improvement to diet, sitting in front of a UV lamp, or having someone come over to help motivate and help you along. It could be starting a journaling habit, stating positive affirmations, meditating, or listening to music that lifts your spirits.

Unfortunately, there is no way to know what that crucial thing or combination of things will be that act as that catalyst for your recovery other than trial and error. You must somehow muster a sliver of hope and a bit of motivation so that you can carry out this process of experimentation and eventually discover what will work for you. The things that have worked best for me have been partaking daily of the extraordinary plant medicine called Cannabis and arranging for a family member or friend to do the more demanding activities such as exercising with me. I have found that these are the two most effective helps for me, but I want to emphasize that this does not mean at all that these things will be what gives you that spark to get started on the path to recovery and growth. I am not a healthcare professional and none of this should be taken as medical advice. I encourage you all to seek counsel and treatment from competent and credentialed mental health practitioners and to do your own research.

The next step is to determine which treatment options and therapeutic lifestyle changes (TLC) you should start with. Again, this will vary from person to person, but I put waking up at the same time everyday, low-intensity exercise like walking, and personal spiritual practice at the top of my list. I strongly recommend implementing one new habit at a time. Make this as easy on yourself as you possibly can at first and make sure to celebrate the seemingly insignificant daily victories. To be totally upfront with you all, I have not experienced a whole lot of success with this so far, but I currently feel I have the necessary hope and desire to be successful. I will do my best to practice what I preach and I will be as honest and accurate about the results as I can.

There are a few reasons why I feel hopeful that I will be more successful this time around, for one thing, I have gained ample experience throughout my constant struggle to survive and get well again that have provided me with realistic expectations about the pace of recovery and magnitude of the benefits of each therapeutic modality. The other factor that I believe will increase my chances of success is increased accountability of documenting this journey online. I have other things going for me as well such as a strong social support system (Excellent family and friends), and the strong motivation to get well that my love for my wife and children gives me. I will post a detailed summary of my initial recovery plan soon and I intend to post updates on a weekly basis. If that interests you then awesome! If not too bad.

To those of you that are struggling with mental illness, hopelessness, despair, and suicidal thoughts, I say you are not alone, life is worth living, and please don’t ever give up. The world is better with you in it.