I don’t know what I want to say right now, so I’ll just let these pudgy digits start flying and we’ll see what comes out. I’ve been super depressed for the last couple of months (seven years really) and just constantly fatigued and in quite a bit of inflammatory pain all over my body. So, I’ve been feeling super shitty, but I’ve been making huge efforts to show up when I need to in order to be a good husband, father, child, sibling, friend, etc. I’ve tried to make it to as many family gatherings as I possibly can and to be engaged and encouraging to my kids. The holidays are brutal for people with mental illnesses and disabilities in general. Every party, feast, and picture fest is torture and requires a monumental effort to get me there. I have such low energy that I have to start thinking about how I’m going to save some up now to allocate to some kind of event or obligation in the future. Days or even weeks before a draining event arrives, I start to feel anxious and pained j